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http://gray-cell-green.livejournal.com/6894.html
i have a thriving passionate hate for school as of late...im glad its ended for a week.
but this week has been lovely, all because of my love.
im blessed to have him.
today he called me at 9:15. waking up to his voice was like heaven.
we talked about the day ahead, while i was laughing uncontrollably (probably because i had just woke up, still in a daze). i smiled so much... he's so beautiful, just a beautiful person, and i long for that beauty every time i see him. but there are times when i feel like he's not just content with sitting silently next to me, holding my hand. times when i want to curse him for following in the footsteps of the most corrupted example. and it makes me weary. bringing up the worst to appreciate the best. oh, but how i love those times when my mind is free from worry and complications, and i just stare at him in amazement. it scares me to say ive fallen in love.
he and i have discussed that, whether we are in love...but "not knowing what love is" he says that he simply cares for me more than anything on this earth. a statement i quickly agreed to. but how i long to just let myself believe that, believe that i truly am in love, so i can say it. but will it hurt more when he disappoints me? when he can never honestly say that back? and will he expect this huge leap if we both declare our love, and then my life be filled with his urge to sneak off with me to "be by ourselves"?
thats what scares me the most, his need to take this other step, when i am content with our innocent relationship.
rhetoric is a bitch, unanswered questions will be my death.
but i will say now that
my name is bailley leanne burdelsky and i have fallen gracefully in love.
the end
Published by :gray-cell-green 2006-04-08 14:08:32.0
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