[REVIEW: Anime] BLOOD+ 31 from sjen

Episode: BLOOD+ 31

Content: WARNING--Do not take this review seriously! (I know I didn't.) I have a new crazy-ass OTP~ <333 And I talk a lot about boobs. ^^ Screencaps, fake dialogue, no real spoilers.
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[BLOOD+ 31] This was one of those all-character inclusive episodes that caught us up on everyones' subplots. Those always make for the hillarity. ^^

First of all, Saya and crew spent this episode... shopping. Action-packed drama, I know! Kai is still feeling left out of the Chevalier in-group. D'aww.

Kai: Why the hell do I have to carry this crap?
Riku: *Giggles cutely to remind Kai that his loving brother is GONE now*
Saya: *Giggles because she is completely oblivious to everyones' feelings*
Kai: What the hell, Saya, can't your servant do this?
Hagi: Hellz no, that's human work. My job is to look cool and play the cello.
Kai: STFU, Dracula.

And then I'd like to introduce you to my new OTP: Diva x Carl! I mean, come on... what happens when you take two psychos with the brains of five year-olds and put them together? Homicidal fun!

Carl: Ahh~ my one and only! Do you want a new doll? *Eager to please*
Diva: I'll tell you what I want... I want her. Your old crush.
Carl: *Distracted by Diva boobies* Okay! ^___^
Carl: (I luv boobies!)
Diva: (Gawd they're so easy to manipulate.)
Carl: (Boobies! <3)

Meanwhile...

Van: So tell me what brings you here.
Julia: No one at my old job appreciates my generous cleavage.
Van: I hate to tell you this, but I'm gay for candy (and Amshel).

Meanwhile...

Lewis: Since you're in Paris, David, you should go out with Julia. She wants you.
David: Which one is Julia again?
Lewis: *Sighs* The one with the fabulous rack. You're pathetic, man.
David: I don't need a rack, I have a holster.
Lewis: *HEADDESK* BOOBS, MAN... BOOBS!
David: Boobs scare me, I'll take my chances with the vampires.

Since that was a lost cause, David goes on a date with Solomon in the park! No, really. My two fave dudes sitting together on a bench = hawt.

Solomon: Take Saya and run. She's in danger.
David: But you're the bad guy, why are you helping us?
David: Certainly bad guys can't do good things...
David: *Still bitter about Kingdom Hearts II*
Solomon: Because... I don't wanna kill Saya...
Solomon: I want to hold her, and touch her with my crazy hand...
Solomon: And she can call me her bitch, and keep me on a leash like she does with Hagi...
Solomon: I'll bark like a dog on all fours... and beg for treats...
Solomon: And then... if I've been good, she'll kick me in the--
David: Gah, TMI!

So David takes the hint and initiates a quick escape from Paris on the boat. He leaves Julia behind, and of course... Akihiro and Mao are totally left in the dust. >:D But first, the cellphone parade...

Can you hear me now?

GOOD! (And that's not a phone, Nathan, but nice try.)

Apparently, Riku and Hagi share a room now...

Riku: Uhm... why do we need beds if we don't sleep?
Hagi: ...Because...
Riku: --??
Hagi: Because one day I hope to get laid.
Riku: . . . . . . ^^;;;
Hagi: . . . . . .
Riku: So... wanna play Yahtzee?
Hagi: Okay.

Kai and Saya patched things up, promising for all three of them to return to Okinawa.

Saya: So will you stop whining now?
Kai: Maybe~

And Diva x Carl attacked the boat, killing Shield members left and right! Carl has his hand and awesome vampire duds, Diva is all dolled up for a night on the town~

Carl: I have upgraded from Phantom to Count! Dun dun dunnnn~ Vampire ph34r!
Diva: Do we know how to make an entrance or what~?
Carl: OMG I know, girlfriend! l33t vampire represent!!
Diva: Stop embarassing yourself.

Next ep: Diva corners Riku! Or something.

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Published by :sjen 2006-05-16 02:07:00.0