http://greenmisfits.livejournal.com/12306.html

She is all I feel. I'd do anything for her and I hope she realizes that. She says it's permanent, but I don't think I can bleed much longer. Life is dull. I hear that "you'll find someone else" from just about everyone, but I don't want to find anyone else. I'm pretty sure she's done. Done with dealing with my crap. I can only pray and pray AND PRAY that by trying to be the way I used to be she'll miss me, but I don't think she likes the way I used to act. I try to be my normal kidding self that usually makes everyone laugh and enjoy themselves, but it doesn't seem to phase her anymore. I feel like I have to try really hard just to get a giggle out of her or maybe we just have been at each other's throats so much that it's hard to make one another laugh. I love her. I think I love her more than I've loved anything or anyone. She knows me better than anyone in my family does and to lose someone closer to you than a family member is a crippling blow. This quote seems to fit the scenario perfectly, "so a simple phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain." My arms will always be open for her, for solace and for whatever she might need. There will always be a spot in my heart for her.

Published by :greenmisfits 2006-05-24 04:10:11.0